Chris returns! ...eventually.

I've been so excited all day. From packing my car with the things I'd collected yesterday, to waiting patiently to leave work (longest day ever) to all of the events this evening, I am dying to see the love of my life again. His flight was delayed (at least it wasn't canceled), so he'll be home...just no telling when.

But the day was very interesting, despite my impatience through it:

As soon as I left work I got a call from Rachel telling me that a friend of their's father passed away yesterday. Hopefully I won't have to relay the sad news as I know Chris turned his phone on. So I just hope he got the message Rachel left him.

I unpacked when I got to the apartment, and wandered over to the supermarket to grab some foodstuffs. Everyone was so friendly! I compiled carts with a fellow shopper, the cashier told me to "fuck it" regarding some raviolis. Turns out the bag I brought to checkout was opened, so when I went to grab a second one, I grabbed mini ravioli instead of the large ones. Confusion at the counter? Nah, fuck it!

I logged onto someone's network when I got back (after putting things away, of course), had a bowl of cereal, and almost immediately fell asleep. I woke up when the neighbors starting thumping around though, and decided to bike ride instead of nap. I went the only place I knew how to get to/wanted to go: Joana's. I called her as I was just about to her apartment, but she didn't answer. As I was texting her instead to find out where she was, I all but passed her standing at the bus stop. She was on her way to meet Chao for dinner, and we decided to walk back together. So we picked up bottle caps and caught up on the past week and then I met her other bff, Chao. He lives, literally, five minutes from here. Two via bicycle.

While we walked, she kept her bag on my other handlebar (my helmet occupied the first), and despite the fact that I checked to see that it was okay often, it wasn't. I got a picture text as I walked in the door to the apartment. 'Twas a little ripped. She seemed to handle it well, but I know I would've been a tad aggravated about that.

I also had a missed call, and it turns out it was my teacher, Sue. Before calling her back I figured I'd check my email, and class is canceled tomorrow because Sue doesn't feel well. I called her back and left a message, but she never returned it. We'll all find out what happened come Monday. Long class that day, though. Yech.

So I neglected reading for class, but instead watched a few episodes of Scrubs and did some RA work. When I was just about finished with that, I saw it. It scurried towards the middle of the room, but receded back near the radiator. I figured it retreated for good. I was wrong. Next I looked up it was headed under the couch. I began my freak-out then. I was fairly certain a very daring cockroach was defying the light and challenging me to a showdown. I went for flip-flops, but I accidentally kicked into my sneakers and it came crawling out of one of them. And that's when I called my mother. Calming me down, she had me trap it under a pot, but not before I watched it crawl through the foyer into the kitchen, down the cabinets and back into the foyer. ::shiver:: Now, it does laps in the dark under a pot until Chris gets here and...and... does something. I'm just happy I don't have to play chicken with a GINORMOUS insect anymore tonight. Good god, I was ready to get in the car and head back to Long Island. My mom says if it's a cockroach, all of the apartments should be fumigated because there's likely an infestation. I say bring the cat over and let her work her magic. Though even I'm not sure she'd be willing to take on something a decent portion of her size.

So now it's 11:35pm, and Chris hopes to be home around midnight. I've candles lit, wine chilling, and pizza getting cold from a few hours ago. I haven't touched either the wine or the pizza as I'm waiting for him. I sure hope he's willing to humor me. I'm hungry, and I could sure use a glass of that wine after my time with Willie the Cockroach!

I have GOT to stop napping.

No, really, I do. I only managed five hours of sleep last night, so today I couldn't function without a) wanting to murder someone; or b) well, without getting some more shut-eye (or more accurately, slow-wave-sleep). So, naturally, when I got home, at 6:00pm, I went straight to sleep. Now I'm up, and it's 1:00am, and I'm going to have to force myself to sleep as soon as I'm done with this.

ANYWAY, more importantly, I guess I never explained how the Lappy got its life back. I found my order form for the comp and the warranty and it is good until 2010. But the 'limited' part scared me, so I called to see what the deal was. I got transferred around until some very commonly monotone (but polite!) man script-read me that I needed to be in front of the computer because there is sometimes a hardware complication that can be checked by discussing it, apparently. I explained, using all of the patience I could muster after spending the day on the phone with ridiculously retarded insurance company representatives, that my problem was not, in fact, hardware. I told him, for the second time, that not only did I verify that it was the AC adapter that was malfunctioning by using someone else's, but it would be impossible for me to turn the computer on while on the phone with him because it couldn't charge. After Mr. Genius checked with his supervisor, they "made an exception" for me. The supervisor even needed to get on the phone with me after Mr. G. Why, I'm not sure. He did nothing other than verify everything I had already gone though...twice, at that point. However, anticipating a 2-3 day waiting period, I received the new adapter next day, and therefore rated Dell's Customer Service highly upon receipt of yet another customer service survey. (I also did one at Jasmine, a restaurant at school, today. Pushy survey people.)

So that's Lappy's story. I was so thrilled to have 'er back, I had to spend three hours belfing last night, hence the cranky sleep deprivation. It was a bad plan. I had a test today I wound up getting a 24.5/30 on (good for some; crappy for me). And I certainly could have used that time to study properly, but I didn't, so it's entirely my fault. I'm not overly saddened by the grade, I just know I could have done better had I applied myself. But I used there being "a lot going on" as an excuse in my head, so: bad! bad linda! I will start making an effort to do some extra credit as soon as things settle down in Queens (so, like, in a day or two). And I will certainly put in the study-time for the remaining two exams. Lowest gets dropped, remember.

I was bummed that I had to hang around school for an RA meeting, and I was supposed to find ACE and go for a bike ride, but Ryan wanted to get away (bad night + even less sleep than me = two cranky tired people, just lookin' for a fix), and I suddenly had a sushi craving, so we took a quick ride up to Hoshi Sushi & Ralph's Ices. Turns out Hoshi Sushi closes at 3pm, to reopen at 5pm. We got there? 2:55pm. ::headdesk:: So we waiting forever on line for Ryan to get an icy thing, then tried to get semi-okay-but-still-kinda-crappy sushi at the Wang Center on campus. They had it at the beginning of the summer, but lo and behold, not so much for the remainder of it. The sign said, basically, "no sushi for summer." I'm sure it was worded more accurately. I'm being facetious.

Ironically enough, on our way back from the closed restaurant to campus, we heard this on XM:



I'll never think of "Fwee Wii-ry" the same again. (Scroll to around 3:15 if you don't want to listen to the entire Japanese food portion.)

So the remainder of my day was much less eventful. Did yet more "to-do" things after my nap: downloaded a shit-ton of new (old) podcasts, packed a LOT of apartment stuff to bring tomorrow, as I won't be back home 'till Friday, and then read for almost two hours for Wednesday's class. And the surprising part: that was only about half of the reading.

Chris's flight got delayed (and by delayed I mean canceled and re-scheduled), though, so now I will have a good seven hours in Queens without him, and my plan is basically to read what I didn't get done tonight, do some RA data entry work, and bike ride in the city for the first time ever. No sidewalks! I have to remember that rule (law?). I learned it at Tom's house the other night, and I was entirely unaware of it.

And now, before I try to count myself to sleep, I will take the unnecessarily long time to post a picture or two for each day that I've missed photos for. I'm actually pretty sure there's one day I didn't even take a picture, but I'll try to work around that, or, failing that, just not put one in. Oh yeah, and Sean? Is there a way to get the picture to immediately post somewhere else in the blog? Or maybe an easier way to maneuver it around? I can't fathom that the pick-up and drag, pick-up and drag, pick-up and drag method is the easiest way to add photos. Any advice?

Here's emocat. I was originally going for "laptop as pillow," but she saw me take the camera out, and preferred to do the emo "lookaway" 'cause she's fucking emocat.

Thank you and good night! (Yeah, I'm a rock star.)

Oh Em Jee, I am the worst daily blogger EVAR.

First off, I just used the non-existent word "belf" as a verb. Belf: v. the action of playing blood elf characters on World of Warcraft. ... then again, if belfs exist outside of WoW, then this would also apply to them, so I suppose the specific game title needn't be included. Ah, well. So be it.

Secondly, since I am the fucking queen of not-blogging, I will offer a half-assed explanation as to why. With Chris gone, I vowed to "occupy my mind" by having plans just about the entire time he's away. As I have followed through every day save for Wednesday, and every day since I've either a) not had access to the interwebs (stayed in Forest Hills last night) or b) got home just tipsy enough and just late enough to get no farther than checking gmail before passing out -- computer-open, light-on, entirely unprepared for bed. Like I said, I know that's a lame excuse, but it's an excuse nonetheless, ain't it?

Okay, so let's do the usual recapping thing.

Wednesday (7/23): Work. School. Nap. Movie. Internets. Bed. Alex & I were supposed to grab some drinks at Doc's, but she had a crappy day and wanted to postpone. We rescheduled for Friday. I was exhausted from getting home late from Florida, then getting home late from the Yankee game the next day, so the night off was welcomed. I watched The Nines, and really liked it. I probably played some Scrabulous and/or read a little as well. Lazy eve. (Sadly, no picture that day.)

Thursday (7/24): Ahh, a day off. "To-do" list-wise, I cleaned up my clothes, went to the bank, and wrote my paper for school, which took a little longer than expected. I then picked up a six-pack of Yuengling and headed to Tom's for some quality Wii-time. This picture is of his enormous cat, Misty. We Mario Karted and Wii Sportsed (my newfound verbs are so fun!), then Rock Banded. A lot. I was there four or five hours, easily. His step-brother Justin came to rock out with us, so I played drums while Tom sang, which was hilarious, by the way. His step-dad bought us all pasta for dinner, so I stuck around a bit for some yummy penne a la vodka. However, that made me late for the guest bartending event Brian Bivona posted on Facebook. I told James I would meet him there. It was a) a night out, and b) a chance to hang out with James so I wouldn't have to hear about how bad of a friend I was for not hanging out more often. ::eye twitch:: What is that boy going to do when the semester starts? Anyway, he thought I had lied and said I was working late which is why I couldn't go until 9:00 at night. I think he was just mad that I was a half an hour late, because I'm not dumb enough to lie about working on a day I have off every week in the summer. Really, if I were going to lie it would at least be an almost feasible one.

So the bar thing was awkward. I had a few (more) beers, and thankfully Matt & Banach & some guy I didn't know showed up. But they went off to smoke cigarettes entirely too often for it not to remain awkward. It's clearly evident there can be little to no drinking when James is present. I'm just not comfortable with it, and I don't really know how many times I have to tell him I like and respect my relationship and I am not interested in one with him as well. Or in lieu of. Or whatever he thinks he can get. Honestly, I don't know what this guy thinks, but it's neurotic however it works.

Needless to say, I went home awkward-free because I refused to let his "OMGISTHISADATE?DOIKISSHER?" interfere with my happy life. So I gave a hug, discussed a BBQ he might stop by next week, said good bye, and drove off. I passed out (computer-open, lights-on) shortly after getting home.

Friday (7/25): Work, as per the usual. But with all the time I'd taken off, I was there a little later than I wanted to be, finishing up. I got home sometime after 4pm and did more "to do" list stuffs: painted my nails/toenails, packed a bag to bring to Chris's new apartment. I likely squeezed a nap in. I met Alex at 8 at Doc Lee Lau's and we had LITs and Volcanoes and Blue Hawaiians before calling it a night, drink wise. I also got some dinner there, and might I say it was the best chicken w. cashew nuts I've had since...well, Tang's.

We definitely met some fun people. Walter, Liz and John. Walter is a 68-year old, turquoise-suit-wearing, new dancer. We talked about life goals, and school and marriage and weddings and his dance lessons and the buffet at the Carriage House that Alex and I have vowed to attend. Liz and John came a bit later, and they may have been drunk, but they were personable and fun. Fica showed up as well (didn't know him before that night), and he was also a very nice, social guy. He had to run off to pick up food from elsewhere for his woman, though, so he was only around a short while. This, by the way, is the awesome "Doc."

After Doc's we went for ice cream and barely scraped by getting into Marble Slab by roughly four minutes. They let us in, though, and even allowed me to use their very clean bathroom. Marble Slab > Baskin Robbins. OMG SO MUCH. We sat on the curb and talked some more, but it quickly turned to midnight so we parted ways.

Saturday (7/26): Moving Day! I got a gchat message from Rachel early in the morning, so I decided to get a jump on the day 'round 8:30. I was on the road to Forest Hills by 9. I took some pictures of the empty apartment, and then Tim & Rachel showed up and we cleaned and unloaded the car. The movers arrived shortly thereafter and they took about an hour to do their thing. We set some stuff up, like furniture in the living room and such. Tim unpacked his room, but I imagine it was due to the sheer easiness with the very few things he actually moved. Rachel cleaned her heart out, which I am quite grateful for. Not that I would have gone as far as she, but I didn't really have to clean much at all.

Living Room, before and after:















We all went out for lunch and had Latino at a place called Cabana. A beer and some lunch was exactly what was needed, although it made me kinda sleepy after the fact. Tim and Rachel left shortly thereafter and I showered and put some sheets on Chris's bed. Then I sat down to write Chris a note, which turned into a full-fledged letter. But all the same, it's good stuff. I met up with Mike and we went food shopping and then had some dinner at his apartment. Chris called while I was there, and I gave him the run-down that he was moved but would have a little unpacking work cut out for him, and talked a little more about my time in Florida and how things were going. He then went on about his trip and how amazing and awesome it was and just how alive he felt, and I'm really glad he got so much out of it. They're out of the wilderness, so I'll likely be hearing from him again tonight and potentially tomorrow as well. After that though, I'll see him on Tuesday. I decided it would just be easier to go there Tuesday night & Wednesday night (staying until Friday morning, as I have no work on Thursday and I would like to see Vinny during the day that day), rather than have him go to-and-from my house. It'll be cute, like playing house (apartment?) for a week. I haven't mentioned it to him yet, because it's far enough away that I don't have to, but I'd like for him to come out by me on Friday though, so we can go to Owen's birthday "cookout" Friday night. Then he goes up to Ossining Saturday morning for a 2-day D&D thing. I'm going to stay here, which is so very weird. Aside from while he's been away, we haven't not spent a weekend together since...that time it snowed so bad he just couldn't get down here. But I've Alex's BBQ on Saturday, and the movies with Amy on Sunday, and I'll be back in Forest Hills either Monday or Tuesday, so whatever. This might actually resemble a standard relationship at some point. I...I'm floored. ;)

Anyway, Mike & I headed to Sissy McGinty's for Ian's birthday, which was fun. I do miss seeing very many of those people, and hope I get the chance to more often when I start "living" in Queens. I'd like to see Christine most of all, though. What's amazing is that I know she feels exactly the same way about me. And I won't publicly explain why, because I just don't need to.

I stayed until around 3, and was quite fortunate in getting a train immediately after descending to the platform. I was "home" and asleep by 4.

Sunday (7/27): I got up somewhere after 10 and did a couple of things around the apartment before heading out. I had to bail on the matinee with Amy though because I was still in Queens when she called and wasn't going to be able to get home in time to go that early. We scheduled for later in the day, but she called shortly before leaving to cancel because her 13-year old dog was terrified of the thunderstorms and no one else was home to take care of her. So we rescheduled for next Sunday and I took a nap. We lost power for a few hours, but it didn't bother me much because I was obviously asleep for most of it. I tried to capture rain on film, because it was just torrential, but that's just one'a those things cameras suck at.

When I woke up I studied a bit for my test tomorrow, which is a little tough. It's "only" sleep class, but the hardest material is this stuff--the bio stuff. What affects what kind of sleep and what organs are responsible for them...yikes! I'll study again at work and then just before the test, so I'll do okay, but I might not get the 100% Sue is expecting from me.

I also tried to make some kind of tuna casserole thing today, but I cheated and failed somewhat. It wound up being tuna, string beans, mushrooms and parmesan cheese mixed into pasta. It's a little on the dry side. It's edible though, and that's all that counts...for now...until I try to make something for other people.

And for now, I'm going to go "belf" with Mike for a little while. I was hoping while I wrote this Chris would call, but he's obviously busy and I don't blame him for being caught up in Colorado stuffs. I'm definitely going to start adding pictures to these blogs, because I have so many, but not tonight. Probably tomorrow. I put it on my "to do" list. :o)

Back Home (a/k/a Day 3 of no contact)

I haven't spoken to Chris since Saturday night (hence "Day 3 of no contact") and I'm holding up nicely, I feel. I've been crazy busy though, with no real time to stop & think.

Today was a shit-ton of work, followed by a race home and mad dash to the LIRR, which too two hours to get from Lindenhust to Penn Station. TWO. HOURS. Jo & I made it to the Yankee game just shy of 8, but with enough time to see the Twins get ahead and the Yanks crush them, have beers, a hot dog, some cracker jacks and a good time. Don't even get me started on the DILF. Yes, it's what it sounds like. Oh, and here's Jeter's ass:

I made the train home by about...45 seconds, and had a interesting conversation with a family on the A train. Part of me will like being in the city again, and thankfully that'll be the part that bops around the city. The Long Island in me gets to continue to commute (not so sure I trust the LIRR as much though, these days).

So I've been home about an hour and all I've done is read a few emails and fight with my AC adapter and look for my warranty info (which is non-existent; I only have a packing slip that says "3 year limited warranty" -- I hate the word 'limited'). The good news is that the paper I thought I would have to be writing right now...is due on Friday. I love having a teacher that's not-so-punctual. It's really helped me out thus far. I will no longer abuse it, soon as I catch up between tomorrow & Thursday.

And now, it is almost 2 and I need to be up at 8, so this is good night for now.

(But I do miss Chris a lot.)

Florida Day 3 recap

My new(er) Dell's AC adapter bit the big one, so I can't use that computer at all until I get a new one. Hopefully, it'll be covered under the 3-year warranty I had purchased with the machine. Until then, pictureless, short blogs, which can be expanded and photoized (a new word I just made up) later.

My last day in FL was awesome. We went to the beach and saw a dolphin and laid out and swam and I filled my 22 oz. Blue Moon bottle with Florida sand. Then we had lunch at an awesome little place that had the best burger. I am always on the hunt for a good blackened/cajun burger, and this place had it. Topped with provolone and bacon -- ohmigod I'd go back just for that. I had more Blue Moon, 'cause I can't seem to get enough of that stuff, and then went back to Meagan's to pack.

I'm shocked at my ears on the flight home. They didn't hurt...at all. Bizarro. The view of the sunset was absolutely spectacular. I wrote some on the plane, but literally hand-wrote, so I may or may not transcribe to here later.

Joana and I went out for dessert and coffee after I got back, and I was out in Queens until just after midnight. I got home 'round one, unpacked, and went straight to sleep.

(More info & pictures to come when I get the new lappy chargeable.)

Florida Day 2

Meagan had to work today, so the initial plan was that I would be left the car and she would go in with Blanton. When I awoke, though, that was not how it had panned out. There was a note for me to call when I got up so I could be picked up. That’s not really what I had been looking to do, so I just didn’t call. I decided to read some of my homework on the porch instead. But about an hour later I got a text from Meg telling me to call whenever I wanted. I explained back, in text as well, that I was really just looking to cruise around until I found something worth going to, but without the car I would just wait until she got back. Oddly enough, I meant every word, and I wasn’t the usual Linda-upset that things didn’t go specifically as according to plan. It may have been some sort of itty bitty step for me, but I was proud. I opted to hang out on the porch with Apryl for a bit (see picture upon posting), but then went inside when it seemed like she wanted to.

There I read a little more and fell asleep a few pages in. I had a dream that Raab had hacked into my computer but I later found out that it was just Sean, and I had given him the passwords (silly me, huh?). I went back to reading, but failed again as a second nap prevailed. I finally forced myself up somewhere near 2 and did work for Sue. I entered a decent amount of surveys before realizing I’d need to write my blog from last night soon if I also wanted to shower and be ready by 5, which I managed. I tried to chat with ‘Stine and Mike in the interim, but I’m fairly certain ‘Stine didn’t want to hear my schpiel on love surveys and Mike couldn’t chat via text. I managed to neglect Ryan too because I was trying to accomplish so many other things at the same time.

Anyway, Meg got home at 5 and I drank a beer and we hung out for a short while before heading to downtown St. Augustine. It was quite the adorable little town when we got there, though. I took a few pictures and we went to a few shops. I bought two tank tops that were too small (but will stretch if I remove the seam) and two long skirts and a pair of earrings and a cheap ring (that needs some nail polish on it to be wearable). Then we had an awesome dinner at A1A Ale Works. I had two mojitos, a cup of the curry chicken & vegetable soup, we split some wings, and a Cobb Salad and a glass of Pinot Gris (as per Joe it is not called Pinot Grigio unless it is from Italy). Meg had two Bacardi & diet cokes, some wings and a southwest chicken salad and a glass of the same. We talked…about any and everything. The past, love, boys, school, work, life, friends, etc. It was a very good time. We stopped at a convenience store on the way home because Meg wanted smokes, but I stumbled upon a 22oz. of Blue Moon, which made me feel classy-trashy as I drank it out of a bag in Meg’s car. It began as a joke: “want a big beer for the car?” “haha, no….wait, is that BLUE MOON?!” Meg got a Corona and we scoured for a bottle opener. I found an 89-cent thingy somewhere; Meg found a six-dollar ice scooper one. We went for the 89-cents-er, but had to talk her down from buying the hilarious one.

We decided to stop and finish our beers at a “spot” near her house, but on the way a cop turned around and followed us, which was a little creepy. I began finagling beer stories. I covered my beer, put it in my door storage, and claimed the Corona in the console was mine. Meg wanted me to toss it out the window, but I thought that too risky with a cop so close behind us. He made the next left with us, and when we made the following right, he made a left and we sighed heavily with relief. The break at the little lake she calls her “spot” was the perfect thing we needed after that. As it turns out, there were about 90% more cops out tonight than every other night. Weird for a random Sunday evening.

When we got back to her house, I had been almost done with my beer, so Meg opened a Stella and chatted with me for another hour or so. We went outside so she could have another cigarette (by the way, her smoking is something I was completely unaware of until this trip) and then we parted ways for bed.

It was an exceptionally good night, and I’m so very happy to be here. I wish I wasn’t leaving tomorrow, but any longer would likely be overkill anyway. Tomorrow’s plan is sleep in, then go to the beach (if there’s time stop at the pool), clean up and head to the airport. I’m sad and happy at the same time, but it’s totally cool.

Megan said something tonight about being able to live with me. Joana has said the same thing. Thing is, I get along about the same with both of them, but with no one else. So I guess that makes Meg one of my bestest, even if we only talk every few months and see each other every other year. Even if that is the case, it’s pretty cool to be able to “pick up” where we left off with someone without a second thought.

Florida Day 1 (in a nutshell)

got up 'round 10, had breakfast and watched the news with Meggie.

went to the pool at Blanton's place sometime near 11:30 and alternated between laying out and "dipping" for about an hour or so, at which point some of the guys from the office and Blanton came home and the drinking began. Dipping and laying out continued another about another hour and a half. The places that I applied sunblock to (mind you, it's SPF FIFTEEN), did not get any color. My back and upper thighs...did. I look unbalanced and silly.

We then headed to "the club" which is actually the Club at Hammock Beach, who Meg, Blanton, and basically everyone else I met works for. They are a very upscale resort, with a fire pit, golfing, adult and kiddie pools, hot tubs, a lazy river, a water slide, and condos. Awesome, gorgeous condos. It is an "oceanfront community." In any event, I drank a pina colada in the pool, went down the water slide twice and took away the chill in the hot tub before the clouds threatened rain.

We had no sooner left the resort when the skies opened with big fat raindrops. The plan was to hit Matanzas Innlet Restaurant for dinner to enjoy the gorgeous view. I'd been told not to go there for the food. But the rain prohibited the scenic view and we ate there anyway, as a group with Meagan and Blanton, Todd and his guests Joe and Chelsea, Lance and Kim and eventually Chad, who didn't come to eat, but hang out. I had some delicious blackened tilapia. Really, the food was awesome and I would easily go there again for both the food and the scenery, which we got to see some of. After we ate, the sky had cleared up so we went out back and took a few pictures. I will post them as well when I have the time to.
Addendum: pictures take forever to upload & move, so here's one:

From Matanzas we went to Sunset Grill for birthday drinks for two of "everyone's" friends, Cameron and ... dammit I forgot who the other person was, but I'm certain I wished them both a happy birthday. I finally got my Blue Moons in, three of 'em, but I was too far removed from previous drinks for them to make any significant difference. We left around 11:30pm and I was asleep by 1. Odd for me; it must have been a long day. I don't know how I'm going to break the nap habit!

I also managed to get my borrowed $20 back from Todd, which is an interesting story all on its own, but alas I cannot go into detail at this time. I am in dire need of a shower and will be heading to St. Augustine for a walk through downtown and dinner with Meagan in a mere hour.

Before I run off, though, I talked to Chris for a little while last night, and it was our last conversation for seven days. He said he got my "bookmark" and that he took a picture of it, which made me happy (it was a little piece of paper I wrote "I <3 you! (and I miss you!) -Linda" on). He talked about interesting people he met on the train, how much less nervous he is now, how I should definitely hear from him Saturday night, but if not by Sunday night, to worry. That was not so reassuring, but I'm sure he'll be fine. As will I. (I have to keep reminding myself that.) No matter how many plans I've made and how many people I will see, there will still be a part of me that misses him, and is sad, and there just isn't a way to turn that off. But it's okay, because it's not abnormal. And I'm still glad we have this time apart.

I don't miss home just yet (it's only been a day and a half!), but I think I would if I moved down here, something I toss around in my head for prospective grad school locales. Two years is a long time though, so I imagine I needn't think about this just yet.

Off to hit the shower (and it's nice to have my own room and bathroom as well, by the way)!

blog of an airplane ride from LGA to JAX

Well, today was certainly a brighter day; luckily, I just couldn’t contain the excitement I built up for going to Florida to see Megan. Not that I wanted to squash it anyway.

I went about my day as usual, work at 9; a complete rush through the day just to get what I needed done. I’m going to try not to lose sleep over the few (and by few I mean ~a dozen) patients that need continued auth and are likely to have a lapse in authorization because I didn’t get to them fast enough. I basically skipped a week of checking and because of that I’m a week behind and cutting it very close. But alas, I am on vacation- er, holiday, and will not stress myself over crazy shit I cannot control.

Chris called while I was gushing on about him to Pat. He was apparently in Chicago, attempting to get to the Sears Tower to climb it before their next train. I neglected to ask later if they’d accomplished their feat. I’m sure I’ll find out when he gets back. Plus, there’ll certainly be pictures.

So I left work at 3, got gas and cash, and sat in traffic as is the way it works when I get in my car. But I made it to Queens in time to fill my prescription (birth control) and grab some dinner (a BCB at a diner across the street from the CVS that was handling my drogas) before Sean & Joana got home. We hung out for a bit at their place, and headed to LGA ‘round 6:30. Chris called again while we were en route. I still can’t believe how mushy and happy I get just hearing his voice. He quite adorably told me he loved me before getting off the phone, and iced the friggen’ cake. I’m sure my feeling about it will change, and I’m also sure being on a plane to Florida has something to do with it, but I feel as though I have a balance in the missing him/enjoying this time to myself department. I’m happy he’s out doing something good for him. And I need this to be healthy.

Anyway, I got to the airport around a quarter to seven. I figured it might take about a half an hour to check in and hit a bar for a bloody mary. Changes to that plan: it took about 6 minutes to check in, and they were margaritas, not bloody marys (and there were two of them). I was under the impression I had never been to LGA before, but as it turns out, ‘Stine & I flew to Vegas from there, and the mini-Chili’s was quite familiar. Go Delta. Anyway, a blonde having a bad day sits down at the bar next to me and asks the bartender to put on the Yankee game. She refuses. Apparently the sports bar down the way was the same: only CNN for us. Lou Dobbs or Lou Dobbs were the options. The Blonde gets a beer. I get a margarita. I also get IDed. She did not. “Great, I look older than you,” she comments, and leaves immediately after drinking her Bud Light. I, however, stay for a second nine-dollar tropical sunrise goodness- er, margarita. I jotted down my proposal (paper for class) notes before the first one made it to my head, at least. I will write it up on Sunday and email it to Sue to make sure it’s cool I stick with the plan I’ve come up with. That way I will be able to begin the 17-day self-sleep study upon my return.

My next companion at the bar is a Brit on his way to Alabama. From London, and in NY for business in hedge funds, Mr. No Name at least provided for intelligent, amusing conversation until it was time to hover at the gate and wait for the herds to be let out. Fifteen minutes late. But hey, for Delta, that seems to be a record.

And let out we were. To a bus. That took our lazy asses about 1000 feet away, to the itty bitty plane we then boarded. I am, as usual, sitting over the wing. Not that I’ve ever really cared, but on the return flight I’m in row three, so I know I definitely won’t be over the wing. I have the side with the moon, though, which is just…amazing. I cannot believe, from inside a decently lit airplane, through a scratched, cloudy window, how bright the moon is.

We’re low enough to the ground that my ears thus far have neither pained me nor remained clogged. They have successfully been popping and have yet to cause me any problems. Descents are the issue though, and I’m fresh out of gum and unable to get to the Sudafed stashed in my bag. I honestly don’t believe gum and/or Sudafed do anything anyway, so I should be fine. If I’m not, I’ll relieve the tension through words, and it will be readable as soon as I publish this later tonight.

Before boarding, while waiting around for our flight status to change from “on time” to “you’re screwed,” I overheard some bit about not serving drinks or snacks on the flight, and consolidating bags. Figuring with the two margaritas under my belt, it’d be wise to invest in a non-alcoholic beverage and maybe a light snack, so I spent seven bucks on a soda and some snack mix. I find out on the flight that snacks and drinks are, in fact, being served. I was evidently listening to the recording for the Atlanta flight. Needless to say, I didn’t accept any of the snacks or drinks when our Irish flight attendant came ‘round offering them up. I felt as if I should’ve, though. Seems like…I paid for the flight, and I might as well get the snacks that accompany it. Plus, people that refuse the offerings are…weird. I shouldn’t be so surprised I was one of them tonight.

Additionally, our bathroom is out of service. Well, that’s not entirely true. Emergency bathroom trips are accepted…with a flashlight. It’s evidently against regulations to allow passengers to use a bathroom without functioning lights. And our lavatory lights are less than functional. I don’t think they’d get away with allowing us to board the plane were it a larger sized one. There are only fifty people on here, so the likelihood of an emergency bathroom run is pretty slim. (But not unheard of: two people have used it thus far. I know, because I’m a row away from it.)

Another flight regulation is the nothing in lap/nothing out from underneath the seat in front of you rule (during takeoff and landing). I’d like to know the logic behind that one. I have this big ol’ backpack I thought was going to have to be stowed. I would’ve fought it, but I’d like to know why I can’t put my purse on my lap if I so choose.

Awkwardly, we needed two additional passengers in the back of the plane. It’s a little scary, yes, to hear the flight attendant ask if two volunteers from the front of the plane could move to the back to “level the weight distribution.” Come on, that’s not a little creepy?! I guess that also comes with the small airplane territory. I happen to like these little guys though. I say that now, as the turbulence begins. Bouncing planes are creepy, but they remind me too much of trains, so minor turbulence doesn’t bother me. And I’ve ridden the Metro North, so even more moderate turbulence isn’t really a nuisance.

Anyway, Megan kind of scared me when I told her I was taking a baby airplane, but my ears are so sensitive I will take any potential negative aspects of mini-planes to salvage my sanity and eardrums.

A majority of the people I’ve spoken to this evening have been foreigners. I get it, I was in an airport, but most of them have been on my flight, which is domestic. The couple behind me, the guy sitting next to me (who played a song on his iPod that I want: “something to rely on” are the lyrics), even the flight attendant are from not-here. I’m bad at accents, so I can’t tell you where anyone might be from, but the flight attendant is was born in Cork, which is awesome. I am reminded of my grandmother, and even if that is a subconscious comfort thing I need to feel better about being all the way up here in the air, I’m fine with that. I also took “Angel” by Sarah MacLaughlin playing on the radio in my car when I left Chris at the train station as a sign of comfort and support. I was trying so hard not to cry, I would’ve taken anything that might be construed as a "sign", but that was a pretty good one. Thinking my grandmother (or her spirit? Or memory? Or legacy?) is here with me makes life a little easier sometimes.

::Laugh:: (it was a light laugh; no one stared.) I knew writing this would take up enough time that this flight wouldn’t seem long. We should be landing in about twenty minutes. The seatbelt light is still off, so I don’t think we’re descending yet, but it feels a little like we are, which would be totally cool. Writing my day/thoughts/etc. really takes up some time. I’m glad I do this thing for me every day (or so). I’ve two things left I wanted to contemplate, but I will save them for tomorrow as this blog is certainly long enough as it is, and no one is going to read it in its entirety at this point. Not that I really mind; it’s ultimately for me.

Here’s to landing safely in Florida within the next half hour and seeing my Megan again after two years!

Addendum: Ten minutes later. We are definitely beginning to descend, say my ears. However, we are above a thunderstorm, which looks really fucking scary from this high. I mean totally completely awesome, yes, but still really fucking scary. We’re in the sky, with random flashing electrical charges. Oh my God. I don’t’ even know how to calm myself down, nor do I know how to stop myself from staring out the fucking window. Here I was, worried about Chris and Colorado thunderstorms. At his moment, I know he’ll be fine, and I’m scared for my own life. The guy next to me seems like he’d coach me through whatever shit happens though, and I’m thankful for that.

Also, with regard to my ears? OW. Maybe the lightning is just the distraction I need. I’m torn between holycraparemyearsbleeding?! and fuckingelectricityrightnexttous! I could use some of that gum about now.

At Megan's. Pictures later, though. I'm lucky enough to get a connection to the interwebs in this place. Although, I must admit, "this place" is absolutely gorgeous!

I was wrong. TODAY was the worst traffic I've ever been in.

Day .5. I took 10 pictures at the friggin' train station. I cried when the train pulled away from the station. I. Am. Pathetic.

Chris said he'd call me tonight, but I completely understand why he didn't. I miss him already, but I'll be fine.

Anyway, today was basically Chris packing, me off doing my own thing (scrabble, bike-riding), then hanging out for an hour or so together, then driving him to the train station. Afterward, I came home, had a bloody mary, dinner with mom, did some work and then cleaned my room and packed and drank my pretty little head off.

But yes, the traffic was horrendous. Two hours and fifteen minutes for an hour trip. /wrists. (I know you'll like that one, Ry.)

I'll refrain from schpieling the same shit I started to give Ryan about a cross between hot and dorky. I apologize for giving him shit to begin with.

I'm tired now; it's just after 1am. I'm packed and ready to go. Tomorrow I will head from work to Joana's and travel solo again, something I enjoyed but forgot how to do. I will be sad. But there will be bloody marys. And I don't care how bad that sounds; I will rely on them. They are my flying beverage.

Twelve days will disappear before I even know it. And if I don't get a single phone call, I promise not to be mad. 'Cause absence does make the heart grow fonder, and I appreciate Chris moreso now than yesterday.

Im'a use his Blackberry though while he's away.

Here's him, all dolled up:

I can not believe how much love I have for this man. He'd never know it.

(potentially) last trip to Ossining = longest trip ever.

I have never seen so much traffic as I did today. But that's okay, because I will likely never have to drive to Ossining again.

I found myself a hypocrite today. I mean, it's something I toss around from time to time, but today...today I was aware of it. Some Facebook friend (read: person I know but not close enough to consider a "friend") has gotten engaged about a month ago, and every status message I have seen thus far since then has been about either a) her fiancee, or b) something relating to the wedding. Now, I know that if they are engaged they are happy, so why am I so cynical about the whole thing? I mean, every time someone gets engaged I think how it will probably fall apart in the end anyway...and why not? so many marriages do. There are a few people (two of whom read this, and they know who the are) who I honestly believe will remain in happy long-lasting marriages, but so many others I can honestly say I believe will fail.

That being said, I could easily see how someone (read: the chick) could get swept up in the hype of wedding things, ignoring the rest of the world. But I resent it, and I'm not sure why. It's as though the expectation has created a high with nowhere to go but down.

Where the hypocrisy comes in: I've no idea who I am, or who I've been the past week or so. The idea of the eventual (and sooner than later if it should actually come to be in September, which still seems to me like an idea only I am absolutely enamored by) co-habitation of myself and Chris in his apartment has blocked out negativity. It feels...fake. Yes, I had made a vow to abolish the negativity in the first place, but that's exceptionally easy to do when there is something waiting in the wings that's...a step forward, a progression. It's clouded my judgment, I think, and made everything else out to be next to, if not completely, insignificant. And that's what I think engagements to do people. They are so focused on this one good thing, this one progression, that everything else in the world could matter less. But what happens when it's over? The novelty wears off, as with most things. It seems almost like a natural process. Boy & girl start dating, it gets boring, they decide to move in together and it's exciting again. Then it gets old and boring again and they get engaged so it returns to exciting. Marriage follows until that as well gets to be just as mundane, so they pop out a child. I don't think anyone thinks about it along those terms, but I'm of the belief the subconscious is aware of this underlying need for something new. Then again, if not for that, when would be the time for a "next step"? How does one know they should or that they are ready? Maybe that's why there's so much failure in the world: we're just guessing. And we're not very good at it.

(P.S. I bike-rode the fun way at school: through the woods. Here's what it looks like:)

my blog/journal/weblog with daily world news and thoughts from life

"WTF?" you ask? I couldn't think of anything to call this blog. Maybe I should've waited until it was written to decide, but instead I looked for help. It wasn't what I was expecting, so I just took that dude's advice and went with the title that had the most popular potential.

Anyway, it's around that time I do this blogging thing, which is also known as "too late" so I will try to keep this to a minimum (read: lose complete track of time).

I created today's post this morning to remind myself to write about a few things, but I now realize I should have "saved as draft" instead of publishing, this way when I actually publish, it will be at the proper time. Ah, well, I learned something new today.

Actually, I leaned a lot of stuff today. Sleep stuff (for class) and love stuff (like people's opinions, which HIPAA does not allow me to disclose) and things about me.

First, though, I went to work feeling like garbage. I hadn't napped the day before and last night I only managed 5-5 1/2 hours or so of sleep, which is no longer okay with my body. Coupled with allergies, I was quiet, removed from the rest of the world, with a heavy head and heavy eyes and a desire only for sleeping. I tried not to let it get to me, though, and for the most part, I succeeded. I may have been a little short with one or two people on the phone. I tried to attribute it to them, but I have a feeling I set the tone wayyy more often than I am aware. I also had to pull Pat out of a negative place when someone called & hung up twice in a row and she vowed, "one more time..." Not that she would've done anything, but she was all riled up about it. I had to explain that just a week ago I tried calling one of my doctors with my Bluetooth headset, but it was half dead and the mic wasn't working. So they picked up and couldn't hear me and hung up. When I tried again, it was the same thing. I suggested it could just be a simple circumstantial issue and that she shouldn't get upset about it. She "oh, all right"ed me, but I could tell she just didn't want to hear it. I don't care; I felt better having said it; even moreso having thought it.

I went to Lowe's after work to fix the key they screwed up yesterday for the Queens apartment. (This picture was taken at a light at Hallock Road and Rt. 347. I was gazing while waiting for the light to change, and was amazed by just how puffy the clouds looked. So I snapped a photo.) [I have a difficult time calling it Chris's apartment, so I usually use the article "the" instead of "his" "our" "my" etc. It depends on who I'm talking to though, honestly. To Chris, it's usually "the" and sometimes "your." To people I'm not incredibly close to, it's "the" most often. And to those I'm all gushy about it with, it's "ours" and sometimes "my" with the notion that "my" refers to "our." I have issues. o_O] Anyway, their policy is to refund the bad key and have me get another one made, which is what I did. Interestingly, young buff Italian guy in hardware remembered me from yesterday. What's funny is all I could remember thinking of him was, "ugh. so...stereotypical Long Island." :p I went to self-checkout my one item and after paying for it I accidentally moved my hand over the scanner while trying to take off the back to the key and put it on my keyring. So it scanned it. And I needed an associate to come rescue me from double-charging myself. It happened to be the creepy guy that refunded my $1.60 when I got to the store. I embarrassingly explained the situation, but he looked at me as though people do this all the time and he couldn't understand why I was embarrassed, and maybe...just maybe I had two heads. I left.

I got home and crashed like my body craved. I promised myself I would bike when I got up (and I did!), but I just needed rest. So I must have slept for the usually 1.5-2 hours and then forced myself up by 7:00. I did go on a bike ride, but it was counter-productive: I went to taco bell and had some nachos and a spicy chicken burrito. However, that was my "meal of the day." Other food items included a pop tart and some sun chips. So I hopefully didn't go over the 2K max calories for the day what with all the cheese and spicy sauce and whathaveyou. Quite unlikely.

When I came back home it felt as though my stomach was upset, but I think I was just super-dehydrated. I need to look up the symptoms of dehydration; I think they would be good to know. And would you look at that: it's own website! Anyways, I watered up and got to work. I entered 50 student surveys into an excel spreadsheet in an hour. But I wasn't sure about some of the coding, so I emailed the researcher (a/k/a my teacher) and asked what it should be. When she got back to me, I changed the ones I had coded incorrectly and did another 25 entries for another half hour of work. There's only 330 surveys in total, and at least fifty of them were done already, so that will be the end of my work-at-home work. :( I wish I worked slower; I really do.

In between work sessions and after I was done with it, I read the material for tomorrow's class. Interesting sleep stuff. Theta and alpha and beta waves, and EOGs and EEGs and lions and tigers and bears. I'm interested to see a human subject in REM sleep, but my only potential subject is Chris, and I'd actually have to be awake when he were in REM. This, I fear, would be difficult. Semi-relatedly, Joana and I were talking the other day, and I have to warm up to the idea of going to bed, like, two hours earlier than him. Granted, I haven't lived with many people, but I don't think I've ever gone to bed at a different time than Rob. I recall making him stay up with me to watch Robot Chicken at midnight and then getting mad when his head would roll back and his eyes would close. I laugh now, but man was I fucking crazy. Poor guy.

I ended this fine evening by packing a few things to wear on Thursday so I can head to Ossining immediately following school tomorrow. It still hasn't hit me that in less than 48 hours Chris is getting on a train that will take him away and keep him away for twelve days. Yes, I'm doing tons of stuff to keep myself busy while he's gone, including moving things around the apartment with Tim & Rachel, but I am going to miss him terribly. I was actually wandering around my room tonight looking for a "token" of me to give him for his trip. Then I thought, "what if he doesn't want one?" and stopped looking. It's not like I'm bringing a Chris memento to Florida this weekend, so why would he be bringing a Linda one to Colorado? Sometimes the romantic in me is exceeded by the logic. Good thing, too, or I would actually be sad about that.

I also chopped veggies.

Broccoli was so one of them. My mom asked me to earlier and I gave her the "uh, busy!" response. But once I wasn't, I had no excuse, so I did it. Two full large containers of squash, zucchini, red peppers, broccoli and cauliflower. Wish I were gonna be around to eat all that yummy stuffs. I'll steal some on Thursday & Friday at the very least. :)

And that brings me to now. I am again, tired, and going to allow Mr. Obama to charm me to sleep via The Audacity of Hope.

The "thoughts" I had this morning that I wanted to roll with are on the following, but as I had a day full o'stuffs to write about, I will leave my little list here and hopefully touch on those things soon enough.
- writing language
- sleepiness/napping vs. mood/attitude
- mom
- counter-balancing moods

a day (or several) late and a dollar (or several) short.

this weekend is excused! I was in Albany both Friday and Saturday nights, and then Ossining until 1:30am last night. The down side to my not writing is that I am not as eager to discuss things of days past. Maybe that's the sleepy talking. I didn't get around to this blog until now (12:21am) and I neglected to nap today (unless nodding off on the highway and during scrabble games counts). So, obviously, my eyes and brain and body are going "just stop already!" Fighting it is not fun.

Briefly, though, 'cause I'll forget if I don't remind myself:

Friday: drive up to Albany. Hibachi (yum & fun!). Card games & beer at Tanner's house. I did not play, but I got the gist of the game watching. By the second game I was too tired to make sense let alone play. However, I think I'd enjoy that game were I able to comprehend the card combinations fast enough. I'd have to play it with a large group of patient people. I'm not sure where to find them.

Saturday: Jared & Lisa's wedding party/picnic. Decent food. Decent beers. Lots of people. Too many wedding photos. A pool for the swimmings. Yummy cake, cupcakes, brownies. Fireworks. A brief period of antisocial Linda (too many people for too long I attribute it to. This only child needs some group therapy, methinks). Then Wall-E in a group of 6 (myself, Chris, Sean, Erin, Adam & Steve). Cuuuute movie. Not the hype I'd made it out to be in my head due to multiple reviews from friends, but still cute. That one was on Juliette (gift card from my birthday). Back to Tanner's for sleepies.

ADDENDUM: I can not believe I forgot this part. Camp Rising Sun. Best explained in Sean's Blog. Creepy. Stuff.

Sunday: breakfast with the group. 14 of us at a diner-w00t. Went to Dick's afterward to get Chris some hiking boots/shoes last minute (he leaves Thursday... /sadcry). Linda got cranky waiting. Drove back to Ossining with Steve. Linda remained cranky (and anxious) until a nap was made possible. Immediately following nap Linda was A-OK. Got back to Chris's and napped for three hours. Woke up, Chris played WoW, Linda messed around on her computer for a few hours, made up dinner plates of Chinese food, pondered the location of her Sleep Class textbook. Then Chris & Linda cleaned out some of Chris's stuff and packed a box for the big relocation to Forest Hills.

(When did I start talking about myself in the third person? It's very inconsistent.)

Also, I found the Sleep text that night when I got home. Where was it, you ask? On. My. Bookshelf. That is seriously the last place I would think I would put it, just because I was going to need it so soon. How the crap was I supposed to know what the binding looked like! Ah, well, there it was, and here it is:Monday (today!): Worked 9-1. Went to class at 1:30--I still think I'm going to like this one. Turns out Danielle is in it. Danielle was in my Cognition class in the Spring. It was surprising to receive a text message that said "turn around," when I got to class and sat down. Class was just an intro, really; then I had a break before the RA meeting. I learned how to do data entry. ::laugh:: It's mostly funny because I used to do data entry as an occupation. I'm shooting to get a credit for it, but I think that means I have to enroll in the "class." I need to find out this information. I got keys to the apartment made after the meeting, one of which did not work when I got there to try them out. So I will be taking a trip to Lowe's tomorrow to fight to have a new key made for freez0rs. My Joana met me at the apartment, loved it, loved even more that I would be living in it soon enough, like, full-time, and then we walked around (got me some food and some starbucks, but she was having dinner made for her) so I could learn the ways of Forest Hills. I was home by 9. For the next four hours I apparently did nothing but read emails, play scrabble, talk to Christine, and certify myself through some website to be an RA. I would have liked to started "working" tonight (I brought the info home for the data entering), but Ryan neglected to send me the spreadsheet & key, so I couldn't. I imagine it's his way of sabotaging my work so that I can't get enough done to get the other half of work he wouldn't let me have. SO GODDAMN FRUSTRATING.

Anyway, today was good on the whole. I feel like I did a lot and I still had time for the relaxing. And I get more and more excited about Queens every time I go there. I'd like to try to start the "monthly train ticket" experiment come September, when school starts, but first I need to get my schedule ok'ed through work (pending; email was sent today) and confirm with the John boys that we're cool with that. I'm still not sure how I'm going to get over using the bathroom, by the way. I say that in jest, but I swear I mean it too.

I meant to take pictures of the empty apartment, but completely forgot. I think I managed ONE on my phone, so if I do actually have it, I will upload it and add it to this post when I add the others (one per day, I swear), which is just not right now. I'm tired, and it's almost 1am, and I have to be up by 8 and I'm soooo not used to not napping. The good news is that I will probably have some time tomorrow for the napz0rs. Also, I need to stop adding "z0rs" to the end of words. It's annoying.

Good night. Sorry for any incoherent rambling. You can't imagine how tired I am. Really. ::passout::

right turn only

what a day, what a day! 'twas busy, but not bad. not bad at all.

I realize now that I'd no real reason to go to school today. Basically, I wasted 50 miles of gas. Y'see, it was the last day of class, and all that was going on was the third exam. I did not have to take this exam as my grades thus far have been 23.5/25 and 24/25, and my teacher only counts the best two out of three. However, because I neglected to take care of it over the course of the past six weeks, and didn't think I could use my next class' paper to meet the requirement, I needed to hand it a form I didn't have and had to obtain today in order to get "upper division writing requirement" credit for my final paper. So I went, and when I got to the parking lot on the edge of campus and proceeded to take the bike out of the trunk, pffthbt!, the back tire was mushy. Surprisingly, and much to my liking, I handled it well. I got back in the car, drove to the closer lot and walked to grab breakfast and study at the SAC (Student Activities Center) before running into a girl from class and having her accompany me on my errand and then to the classroom.

I'd like to point out here, as Chris has noticed and I have been too dense to figure out, we at Stony Brook University have buildings called the "Wang Center" and the "SAC." That is all.

I realized that I hadn't needed to go to class when my teacher told me she was surprised to see me there. I'm not sure I did better than my other two tests on this one, so it was likely not worth it, but oh well; what's been is done.

After class, as I had time, I walked back to my car (stopping to take a few photos along the way--1) fishes, 2) fishes, pond reflection, lilypads, 3) pretty flowers, 4) bath time), and headed to the bike shop where I dropped Rocky off. I've just named my bike Rocky. I don't know why. I went home and finished my paper for class and submitted it, along with the Curriculum Vitae my teacher asked the class to create for themselves and then emailed her back about becoming an RA (research assistant, not resident assistant). I might do some research over the summer and apply it towards when I join the RA staff in the Spring. My schedule won't allow for the work in the Fall.

I think I managed to get a 30-minute nap in before heading to the wonderful "woman" doctor. I didn't even need the Rx for more BC, but apparently they give it out free with every pap smear. They were still out of samples. I was still saddened by that fact.
I was in that office a total of an hour and a half. I am so absolutely spoiled by my former therapist and gynecologist's offices and my work office. They run...get this...on time. However, in this case, I sat in the waiting room for a little over a half an hour, then in an office for a little over a half an hour, then I was seen for ten minutes and it was over. Lame. I felt bad for the bike dude, though. He called at a quarter to five to tell me Rocky was ready and to get there by six. I had to explain that I had no control over when I was able to leave my doctor's office, but I would do my best to get there on time.

The good news is it only cost $16 to fix. It was a punctured tube. I had a big nail or screw or something in my tire. How it got there, I've no idea. I certainly don't ride around any industrial areas. But I guess I ride around Lindenhurst, and that's just about the same. Heh. The bad news is that it was $16. And I had just paid $25 for a doctor visit and $25 the week before for an audiologist visit. Eh, I'm going to have to pull money from savings anyway to hang in FL for three days next weekend, so what's the difference?

Oh my lord, I just realized I'm going to take my computer to Florida. This is the first time I have not even questioned that decision. I...I'm scared. Hold me.

Sorry, that was earth-shattering for me. Anyways. I got home from running around pretty late (say, 6-ish) and I had some cheese & crackers for dinner, caught up on my scrabble games and read a few articles posted from the workdaylist until I fell asleep yet again. I was awakened by my phone 'round 7:30; Chris called to talk about the apartment he almost has save for a credit check. I was caught off guard and my brain wasn't fully functioning, so we had a short and confusing conversation. I plan on explaining why I was "being difficult" next time I talk to him. I feel like such a tool for not saying something at the time. Sleep f's me up, apparently.

So having been just about stood up by James, who I planned on getting coffee and a slurpee with (slurpee for me, coffee for him), I decided to show up at/near his house and text him, so as not to be a complete crazy stalker woman. It worked. I jumped on Rocky (hotttt) and headed to mid-Lindy. I honestly thought I was going to have to chase his car all the way to my house when I saw him get in and head off. Apparently, he took "I'm at your corner" to mean I was on my way home. Weirdo. [James, if you're reading this like you said you were likely going to, Hi! ::wave::]
I dropped Rocky off in his yard and we walked to le 7-11, got our beverages, and continued to walk around. The new section of Fireman's Park was closed, much to my dismay (I've been trying to see it since it was completed a few months ago--I found out it's a 9/11 memorial as well), but I took pictures of the lake and some duckies instead, which seems to be a theme to today's shots.

It was dark when we got back to his house, so I took off, slightly hesitant to ride in the dark, but handled it just fine. Being a ten-minute bike ride, it wasn't so scary.

I haven't done much since, save for take more scrabble turns and write this blog. I also looked into LIRR fare/schedules from Forest Hills to Stony Brook, and though the cost would be cheaper than the gas ultimately, the schedule itself sucks ass. I'd have to get up just after 5am some mornings to take the hour and forty-five minute train ride to make my 8:20am class. I'm not sure I'm okay with that. I'd also have to make certain trains as they run every hour and half. And I'd have to figure out how to get to/from work, like on rainy days or snowy days when biking isn't really an option. And it's just not worth it to get a monthly train pass and drive now & again. So I guess those are out.

As this blog is entirely too long as it is, I just wanted to ramble-type about something that was on my mind earlier today. First, negativity. I wonder if being around negative people is a poor influence on my subconscious. I mean, I'm not always around negative people, but one of my closest friends is super-negative and I find it difficult to always try to cheer him up. If this is the case, is therapist the right profession for me? I'd have to know I'm strong enough and actually be strong enough not to let other people's shit get me down. I imagine it's likely my emotional investment in him that makes it more difficult, but I can't say for certain.

Secondly: low aspirations, lack of hope, needing drastic change (a/k/a "running away") -- what is it about these things that makes them so hard to see and get past? I mean, maybe I think I'm not-so-negative because in comparison to George*, I'm not. And I'm worried about him. He feels like Murphy is following him and because Theresa* wants to date the sleazebag she's dating and not him, he's worthless and that he needs to make some sort of drastic change in order to potentially find happiness. He also wants to do it to be able to say he did, which, IMO, is a dumb reason. But that's just my opinion, and not everyone would agree with that, obviously. I just...don't want to be there when he's disappointed that at the end of the rainbow is nothing but no more rainbow. At the same time I want to be there, because I don't know that he can handle that on his own. Hell, maybe he's stronger than that. I sure hope he is.

Well, now it's late (I breaked for a Chris call), and I need to pack for the weekend and do my nails ('cause I'm still a little girly). I hope I didn't bore any readers to tears. If I did, though, send me the tears.

Oh! Despite the plethora of photos from the day, I just have to include this one. Inspiration for the title of this blog:



Americans is so smarte.


OOH! This just in: I got a 25/25 on the test today. worth the trip, hoorays!
Aaaaand, I take that back; Ryan is a liar and I got a 24/25. Still good!


*Names have been changed. Just 'cause.

losing hope is easy

No, I'm not being uber-pessimistic. I'm just quoting a Jack Johnson song. And now, I feel its time to tell the story I neglected to about a week ago.

A close friend of mine...what'd I name her, Mary? sure, Mary...Mary met a guy. A guy that makes her feel like no other. Mind you, she's semi-dating some other guy, but they're not very serious and they don't particularly have a future. But this guy is some kind of hopeless romantic. A John Cusack, mix-tape making, fucking Rico Suave. Good for her you'd think, right? Think again. Mr. Suave just happens to be eight years deep in a relationship and one year deep in an engagement. He also happens to be smitten by Mary.

Oh, Mr. O'Leary how you haunt me to this day. You see, a mere seven or so years ago, Mr. O'Leary stepped into my life. My warning upon meeting him? "Careful. He's got a girlfriend." The result of the charade: three years of hard-core mistressing. You know what that got me? A shitload of heartbreak and a ton of tears. Not to mention trust issues.

But my Mary. My darling, sweetheart precious Mary...she is going to fall into a trap. A bad bad, nasty, painful trap. Yes, I suppose it is her mistake to make, but god dammit if I can't prohibit the people I care most about from making the same ridiculously stupid mistakes I made. Eh, I guess it's like having kids, right? You can only try to guide them, you can't force them one way or the other, no many how many stupid mistakes you try to help them avoid.

*sigh* Nothin' I can do but try to be supportive, I s'pose. It's just hard to condone something I disagree with completely. Nevermind my own insecurities.

ANYway, I'd like to share a portion of what has kept me awake until at the very least 11pm two nights in a row. Though I couldn't manage to get my window open wide enough to get a picture of the actual work being done, I opted to photograph the huge mountain of fucking wood outside my house. Apparently, my neighbors are having night work done to their yard. I don't know if rates are cheaper from 6-11pm or something, but these guys have been sawing and hammering and loud-noising for two days now. Here's what they've compiled thus far:Other than that interesting bit of my day, the remainder was boring. I worked. I studied. I ate fish and veggies cooked by mom. I watched a movie. I talked to Chris. I played Scrabble. Man, am I exciting!

Hey, I like it.

Looking forward to the weekend as part of it will be spent in Albany. I like those guys. A lot. :)

better late than never

I almost forgot to write today, but I guess it was, as I called it, quite a bi-polar day, so what can I say if I wanted to forget it? It was a fairly uninteresting day, although my teacher brought in chips and cookies and brownies (homemade) and we talked about grad school, which was utterly depressing. But I'm not going to think about that stuff or what might happen just yet, because I've plenty of time left at good ol' SBU before begging people to let me learn at their institution(s). I'm kind of hoping my life experience catches someone's eye. I only wish in all my years with high real estate rollers, someone would know someone that was a dean of a college or something. *shakes fist* damn you, corporate America!

After school I got my ass kicked at work.

After work, I took a nap.

After my nap, I called Chris and we talked/fought/discussed some stuff that needed to be said. It was productive, but pretty redundant, and I can't quite figure out why the same things keep coming up as problems (to me). He's not the only one annoyed by it. I keep hoping each time will be "it" and things will run fairly smoothly. Unfortunately, the longest I think I've managed to go without a "problem" is a few weeks. :( Hey. No point in being pessimistic about it; this time could very well be it. I am quite lucky to have a patient boyfriend.

After the call I avoided writing my paper for a few hours by talking to Joana (and Liz) online. My teacher caught me online as well, so I got to ask a few questions about my paper anyway. I eventually got down to it though, and finished the damn thing. So basically tomorrow I have to study for my last test, Thursday I can re-read & edit the paper and then send it in and as of Thursday evening my class will be completely over. But no worries, the next one will start on Monday. *shrug*

I've spent the hour since finishing the paper talking to a few people on AIM and getting access to some Arrested Development (w00t!)

I have no picture for the day, /sadcry, so I will offer something that amuses me in its stead: one of those magic eye things. I think it's called a stereogram. I'm also not going to tell you what it's of, but if you're smart and you still don't see it, you can figure it out anyway.